To My Old Master
Of all the diversions you face today, I guarantee none will be more worthy of your time than reading this letter from a former slave to his “old master.”
Simply beautiful.
posted by Aaron Bragg
February 2, 2012
Uh-Oh.
According to Bleacher Report, former GU standout Adam Morrison is the second-worst NBA draft pick of the last decade.
In a town where the 11th commandment is “Thou shalt not speak ill of your Zag brethren,” it’s probably best we keep this mum.
posted by Aaron Bragg
January 31, 2012
“House: After Five Years of Living”
Take a gander at a short film made by Charles and Ray Eames of their home—Case Study House No. 8—in Pacific Palisades. Bonus: the accompanying music was written and performed by Elmer Bernstein, the composer responsible for some of the most memorable film scores of the 20th century.
posted by Aaron Bragg
January 30, 2012
Blue Marble 2012
Courtesy of NASA, here's a link to an 8000 x 8000 HD image of Earth, shot January 4. Enjoy.
posted by Aaron Bragg
January 26, 2012
, , , , , Chameleon
The comma has a way of bedeviling even the most careful of writers, particularly when grammarians can’t come to an agreement on even its most basic function—that of separating elements in a series.
But I digress. Let’s talk about when not to use a comma. More specifically, let’s talk about what’s wrong with the following sentence:
My home was designed by architect, Steve Clark.
I see this a lot, and I’m not sure why. Architect is a nounal adjective modifying Steve Clark. In that sense, it’s no different from any other adjective. Like brown, or enormous, or droopy. Yet you wouldn’t normally see something like this:
Just beyond the brown, house was an enormous, willow tree with droopy, branches.
See? Doesn’t work. Let’s look at another example:
Noted composer, John Cage, would have celebrated his 100th birthday this year.
Noted is an adjective; composer is a noun. Together, they form an adjectival phrase that modifies John Cage. In principle, that phrase is no different from a single-word adjective that likewise serves as a modifier—like, say, controversial or minimalist, neither of which would require a comma in the above example. So let’s fix it:
Noted composer John Cage would have celebrated his 100th birthday this year.
Much better, don’t you think?
posted by Aaron Bragg
January 25, 2012
Buckle Up
It pains me to admit it, but words aren’t always necessary to deliver a compelling message.
posted by Aaron Bragg
January 24, 2012
And the Winner Is…
If the entries in our Stupidest Song Ever contest are any indicator, the last word has precisely three readers. The good news is, that’s two more than CK figured.
So who won?
If you’ll recall, the challenge was to come up with a stupider song than “We Built this City,” a steaming pile of earnest, self-aware lyrics compounded by the cheesiest of mid-1980s instrumentation and a horrifyingly bad video.
Susanna came up with Shakira’s “Whenever, Wherever”—a promising suggestion. She also put to bed my denunciation of “ask” as a noun. But then she went too far: trying to curry favor with a compliment. the last word can’t be bought, Susanna.
Spimbi tried the shotgun approach: “I’m too Sexy” by Drop Dead Fred, “Hearbeat” by Don Johnson, “She’s Like the Wind” by Patrick Swayze, and Eddie Murphy’s stomach-churning “Party All the Time.” She then administered the coup de grace: Kris Kardashian’s “I Love My Friends.” (Really, folks, you have to see it to believe it.) These are all stupid songs, to be sure. But are they stupider than “We Built this City”?
No, that honor would have to go to “I’m a Gummy Bear (The Gummy Bear Song)” by Gummibär. In fact, it’s not even close.
That makes mcw3 our winner! Come on by AMD corporate headquarters (we’re on the 81st floor) and claim your prize!
posted by Aaron Bragg
January 20, 2012
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Scientists from Skynet Case Western Reserve University have created an army of cyborg cockroaches.
posted by Aaron Bragg
January 19, 2012
Hello? Anyone?
The somewhat less-than-overwhelming response to yesterday’s post can only mean that
- a compelling case for the use of “ask” as a noun cannot be made,
- our readership is pitiably small, or
- nobody cares much about the rampant abuse of the Queen’s English.
The third possibility is too depressing to believe; the second is simply not worth considering. We’re therefore assuming the first.
But just in case, we’re going to throw a little red meat to our audience to see if anyone’s out there. Ready?
Resolved: “We Built This City” is the stupidest song ever written.
To either affirm or negate the resolution, comment below. Whoever identifies a song stupider than “We Built This City” will receive a free bag of Designer Blend coffee—our proprietary brew from Cravens Coffee Company.
Contest closes Thursday, January 19 at 5 p.m. PST. The winner, determined by entirely subjective criteria, will be identified in Friday’s blog post.
Let the insanity begin.
posted by Aaron Bragg
January 18, 2012
When Did “Ask” Become a Noun?
I’m being serious here, folks. At what point in our history did someone say to himself, “Hey, you know what the English language really needs? Another synonym for request.”
Anyone?
BONUS: All kinds of AMD-branded swag for the first person to, in the comments section below, make a compelling case for this loathsome practice.
posted by Aaron Bragg
January 17, 2012
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